Reality Check

This week has been one of the hardest ones I’ve had in a long time. Physically and mentally I’ve hit my breaking point more than once. After more than a year without a major SVT attack I’ve had several in just a few days. It felt like a major setback and I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t scared me. My body feels heavy and slow, my brain fog has been awful and I’m more behind on assignments than I’ve ever been. I’m exhausted in every sense of the word.

Still, even though this week has taken a lot out of me there were a few bright spots that made me smile and reminded me that not everything is falling apart. On Sunday my friends and I went to Suter’s Pumpkin Patch, which was something I’d been looking forward to for weeks. It was one of those cozy fall days where everything feels simple, laughing with friends, taking pictures and trying not to spill our apple cider. Afterward we stopped by a cute little local creamery. Even though it was cold enough for gloves we all got ice cream and apple cider milkshakes. It sounds silly but those little moments matter to me. They make me feel like a normal person, like I can still enjoy life even when my health makes things hard.

Another small win this week was receiving my Kendra Scott brand ambassador package. When I opened the box I felt a rush of excitement I haven’t felt in a while. Inside were three pieces of new jewelry, all pink of course, and a soft embroidered sweatshirt. It was such a cool moment and something I never thought I’d get to be a part of again.

But as much as I want to celebrate those things it also made me think a lot about social media versus reality. This week if you looked at my posts or stories you’d probably think I was doing great. You’d see me smiling at a pumpkin patch, drinking milkshakes and opening a brand collaboration package. And yes all of that happened. It’s real. But what those pictures don’t show is what came right after.

After the pumpkin patch I had a pretty bad health flare. I ended up passing out and sleeping the rest of the day. My body just couldn’t keep up. And when I filmed the Kendra Scott content video I had just come out of another episode. I was sitting on my bed in pajamas with unbrushed hair, trying to act like everything was fine. You can’t see it in the video but I felt drained.

It’s strange how easy it is to make things look OK from the outside. Social media is such a highlight reel and I’m guilty of it too. I share the fun, the laughter and the exciting opportunities but I don’t always share the hard parts. I don’t post the moments when I’m lying on the bathroom floor trying to get my heart rate down or the nights when I feel too weak to move.

This week reminded me that what we see online is rarely the full story. You never know what someone is going through behind the screen and sometimes the people who seem happiest are fighting silent battles no one else can see.

So yes, this week has been hard. It’s been full of setbacks, stress and exhaustion. But it’s also been full of small reminders that there’s still light even in the roughest moments. And for me that’s what I’m holding onto.

That's all for now!
XOXO, Mia Ann